Wednesday, September 7, 2011

朋友??是什么??

以前的我,是一个不可以没有朋友的人....即使他/她们出卖过我,背叛过我, 到处撒播我的不是,但是,我却还是像个傻瓜一样跟他/她们很好....因为我不能没有他/她们....
我问过我自已,为什么??我为什么不能失去朋友???我有答案,但是那个答案我知道你们或许觉得不合理,但是那就是我的答案..

小时候,家人,从来没有关心过我...到了中学,我进的班,没有一个是华人的...所以,我很孤单,也很安静...到了form2, 我还是当中的一个华人,但是,我有一个朋友,她是马来女生, 她会说华文..她很关心我,也很担心我...我很开心,因为终于有人关心,担心我了...我们很要好...我还记得,当时我是班长,没有一个人要做值日生,我一个人慢慢的,扫了整个班,擦窗等...但是,她帮了我很多,和我一起擦窗,扫地,倒垃圾...我们做了所有值日生都不要做的....我真的很开心,有这样的朋友...慢慢我认识了很多朋友,直到现在....

现在的我,有点害怕朋友...因为不知道他们到底是怎样看待我...很怕被利用...真的。。。。
一个真心的朋友,真的很难找到...不开心时,也不知道到底该跟谁说.....
但是,幸好,我...还有我的好姐妹们....谢谢你们哦...我知道你们都在无时无刻的陪伴着我...我爱你们哦..... 我真的该学会独立了~~~加油~~

Sunday, September 4, 2011

害怕..

到底..."家人"...是指什么??和睦相处??促进感情??
现在的我,真的不知道, 也分不清楚,所谓"家人",是怎样的??
有时候的我,甚至还会怕...我不知道我到底该如何是好,到底该怎么做??我好想,真的好想每件事都能像我所想的那样....
但是,真的好难....
为什么??为什么别人的家,可以和睦相处,和蔼可亲,然而,我的家人呢??
为什么??你们做孩子就不会想想老人家吗??虽然,他们嘴巴说说,但是,他们还不是为了你们好.....为什么??你们就不会去想他们为了你们的好,而只会去想他们有多啰嗦,想他们的不好...
你们要知道,当你们跟他们一样的年龄的时候,你们会希望你们的孩子这样对你吗???
你们知道,当你们这样大小声,夜归,他们有多心痛,又多担心吗??
 为什么??!!你们这么大了,就不会用你们的脑去想想呢??!!

现在的我,很怕,我很怕这个家会因为你们而散了....我很心痛爸妈这么的辛苦,而你们却还是这样...心痛他们这么的为你们,而你们还是这样....你们知道吗??他们真的真的很辛苦,而你们呢???一点点就说辛苦...

心,真的好痛好痛......真的希望他们能领悟,明白,我们所为他们做的....

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

今夜的我~~

现在的我,在哭着....
我已不知道,我有多久没有一个人抱着自已哭了.....
心,好痛...好痛....
或许是我自已的错吧....只是想着或许这样对你比较好,而没有去在乎你的感受...
对不起,我只是想...这样你就有多出来的钱,好给你自已花...我没有去想太多....
对不起...
我也很心痛啊....
今天的我,我想是不用睡的了....

Sunday, August 21, 2011

朋友...

所谓的“朋友”到底是什么??
我想我不知道,也不明白到底所谓的“朋友”是什么意思....

我很喜欢交朋友,我都是用我的真心与信任来和他/她们交朋友...
但是,每次往往我的真心与信任换来什么??换来“伤害”...
或许对你们来说,这样对我,跟本没有什么...但是,其实我已经被伤害了...
虽然,我被伤害了,却还是脸带笑容的来和你们沟通....

我知道,我很笨...笨的连朋友背叛,但是我却还是和他/她们很好...
我很可耻,很可笑吧....

我知道的朋友或许和你们的意思不同吧....
我所谓的“朋友”,是不管你需不需要安慰或关心,她们时时刻刻都会问候你....
偶尔约出来聚一聚,联络感情....虽然不能时时刻刻问候,但是偶尔会和你聊聊天的....不是吗??

现在的我,不知该如何是好...
对与朋友,我真的不知道该怎么做了....

我知道之前的我,不能没有朋友...
虽然现在的我还是会需要朋友,但是.....我会去习惯没有朋友在我身边...我会去努力,加油...因为我是我,而不是别人...因为我没有必要去在乎他/她们怎么想,因为他/她如果在乎你,把你当朋友,他/她们不会,也绝不可能会把你一个人放在哪里的...
我会慢慢去习惯的...加油.....章韶蓉~~<3


Sunday, July 24, 2011

wanna cry~~

i donno that...is true or not???that i coming back....
now, i juz feel wanna cry....and feel that whole my heart wanna be break down...
talk about my family...i don't like that my family always quarrel.....especially my father and my mum....
y does my dad has owes been understood....???y that he don know to understand d ppl that who care about him...?? y he cant calm to talk to others?
is it becoz of my personality is like this, so the thing that i do, may not necessarily be good??
i juz wan ppl can understand me and understand d thing that i will do it...and don simply help me do d conclusion....coz sometime that d conclusion will really hurt me very much....
now....i juz wish that there is a shoulder can let me depend on...
i juz wanna cry out, but cant...... its so hard for me to cry out now....
my heart...is very pain...and mess.....i know that i must be strong, but now its very hard or difficult for me...
how can i do now???who can lead me now???i really don know what i suppose to do now....
juz feel disappointed, cry, sad and tired....but even so...thats all in my heart will feel it...
my face will owes smiling in front ppl, juz my heart...ya...juz my heart will feel it....
T.T

Thursday, July 7, 2011

pain...very pain~~

今天,我们...又吵架了..我已经不知道我们到底吵了多少次的架了....
你知道吗??我被说不会去想,不会去陪他,不会疼他等等....
你知道这个痛,有多痛吗??我哭了又哭.....
机会,也不给我....到了现在才给我.....
想说的话,到了现在,发生了很离谱的地步,才要说....
好伤......
过后,还以为生气地把我一个人丢在那里.....
好痛,也好难过....
这个痛,不知道要到几时才能平复.....
现在的我已经很痛了,却还要在别人面前笑......

Saturday, June 25, 2011

rushing smemester

this semester...reli make me tired and stress~~
but i 'm very appreciate that what i have...in this semester...

i learn many thing from this semester..friend?? study??? roomate??
talking about my friends...i realize that i juz have a few "game" friend onli..
but...i love my friend....we owes stick together when we study in Hilton...
they give me a lot of fun and knowledge... -> Ann, Pudding, Cia and Daren....
and my another "game"s' friend... they all love sing and play same as me...
when i feel stress wanna sick, although they are sick, they stil wan accompany me sing and play until midnight...
but they really very “疼"me lo....coz everytime i so stubborn and capricious....wanna them plan a date go to play or sing with me...so bad a me...hahaha....
but for all of this, i'm reli appreciate it....

now, talking about my roomate...i'm reli speechless about this...
coz maybe many thing that happen, make me and her not look like previous...
nowadays, she wan move out also don wan let me know...
when i know this, i'm very hurt and feel tired...and owes force myself don thing too much....
how about my study a???ern...ok lo...i have study hard and study smart, just hope that can score a good result.....in my final also~~~

now...i have join club leh...i join ICCF and hostel club...
i'm d committee of both club..i wan join those club juz becoz i don wan when i thinking back my memories, jus like nothing and that time i think i will very regret....i wan my memories be colourful and nice....
About him!! my stupiak...i'm very appreciate now, when we are still in our college life....
i juz hope that u can don think too much, don think tat u're not good or bad....
hope that u can more confidence in our relationship...healthy and happy owes~~^^

lastly, i love my family~~i'm very miss them......daddy,mummy,boss~~T.T
i will do my best in my study....don worry about me...i can do it well juz c that i wan or not onli..hohohoho
becoz i'm ah nong ma~~~^^